Memories...

It's been almost a week since I've been back from Umrah, and I still don't feel ready to move on. I keep remembering every little thing: walking down the street in Madinah to go to Masjid al-Nabawi; sitting in Masjid al-Haram with my prayer beads; meeting lovely Muslim women from all over the world as we wait for prayer to start; seeing the Kaabah every day; the call to prayer; the voices of the muezzins and imams.

I think what I miss the most is my whole day revolving around prayer, God, and Islam. It's such a beautiful thing when that happens. I wish I could continue doing that but I feel like it's impossible in everyday life to make prayer the centre of everything, although I have been trying. Maybe it was the atmopshere in Makkah and Madinah that makes you think of God and makes you want to be as religious as possible. I found myself constantly saying "inshallah" and "mashallah", whereas here I don't always remember to say/think these things.

I would love to be able to live in Madinah or Makkah, and be that close to the two most amazing mosques in Islam and the Kaabah. Imagine how wonderful it would be to live in the Prophet's beloved city, Madinah (not a big fan of Makkah; I would definitely choose to live in Madinah if I was given the option).

I hope these feelings pass soon because it's getting kind of depressing. Inshallah I'll be back there soon.

Last Thoughts on Umrah, Makkah, and Madinah...

I wrote part of this post while I was in Makkah, and part now.

Today after praying Fajr I did 4 rounds around the Kaabah. I know that during this you’re not supposed to get angry or annoyed or mad but seriously, that’s almost impossible. People are so rude! Most of the people here just push, shove, yell, and walk without looking where they’re going. Especially when going around the Kaabah, people just seem to think that it doesn’t matter if they push and interrupt other people’s prayers. I found it really hard to concentrate and say my prayers while constantly being shoved and elbowed. I can’t imagine what Hajj is like.

I feel like Muslims worry way too much about appearance. We always hear about what a Muslim should dress and look like: veil, no veil? Niqab, no niqab? What part of the body should men cover? And yet we never hear about how Muslims should act more considerately. We should cover that first, before focusing on dress. We should talk about how you shouldn’t talk on the phone while doing tawaf or sa’i; how you shouldn’t gossip while waiting for prayer to begin; how you shouldn’t sit right in front of the Kaabah while people are doing tawaf; how you should maybe look in front of you while walking to make it easier for everyone else; and about how you shouldn’t push people in front of you and be patient. When thousands of people are doing Umrah everyday, these things would definitely help.

I’m not saying that my experience was negative. On the whole it was amazing, but these things are starting to get to me now. When 10 people have pushed me and almost made me fall over, I can’t help but get angry at the 11th. Inshallah people will start being more considerate.
I was in the mosque today and one of the men that works there handed me a flyer and began saying I should cover my face, i.e. wear niqab. Of course, he couldn’t look at me while he was talking, he just kept saying how it was important. I look down at the flyer, and see that it is about ethics for women.

What annoyed me is not that he was telling me to wear the niqab. What annoyed me is that I didn’t see him telling anyone else to stop yelling, or pushing, or running around the mosque. Islamic authorities today seem to be solely focused on appearance, especially that of women. What, are we going to trick God by dressing a certain way? Is God not going to see the way we act, behave, think, and treat others?

I’m back in cairo and I miss Makkah terribly. There were so many things that I loved about being there. The fact that everyone calls you Hajji; the call to prayer coming directly into my hotel room and waking me up for fajr; the Kaabah being a 3 minute walk away; seeing Muslims from all over the world; and having my day revolve around prayer. If only life could be like this: fitting everything between prayer instead of prayer between everything. Inshallah I need to start working on this now that I am back home.

Another thing I really miss are the amazing voices of the imams and muezzins. They were absolutely amazing, and I really miss hearing them.

I really miss praying in a mosque. There aren’t any good ones near my house, unfortunately, otherwise I would at least start going to Friday prayers. I think if I had the chance to live in Makkah or Madinah for the rest of my life I’d be the happiest girl on earth.

Back to Cairo

I'm sitting in the Jeddah airport waiting for my plane to leave. Today has been a good and bad day. Good because the experience of Umrah has been amazing, and I am thankful that I got the chance to do it. Bad because I feel very sad and emotional about leaving Makkah. I've come to love it here and I wish I could spend the rest of my life praying at Masjid al-Haram and sitting by the Kaabah. My last prayer at Haram was Duhr and I couldn't stop praying. It was very emotional and before I left I went and looked at the Kaabah one last time. Inshallah I'll be back soon. It'll be difficult because I'm not married and I don't think my dad is coming again soon. I don't understand how a woman can't come to Makkah or Madinah alone until she's 45. Another one of Saudi's ridiculous rules, which I'm sure has no basis in Islam. So a woman is a mature adult when she's 45. Great. And I'm assuming a male reaches maturity at age 16. Ugghh. Anyway I'm trying to ignore all the annoying gender-related stuff that happened and focus on the good.

Someone asked me to elaborate on how Umrah changed me. I'm not sure how exactly, but I know something is different now. It's not that I didn't take Islam seriously before, but I feel like praying was something that I would do quickly before I went back to whatever I was doing. Here in Madinah and Makkah, my day revovled around prayer, and I would interrupt whatever I was doing to go and do it. I need to try and continue this in Cairo. I guess I'll have to wait till I get back to Cairo to see what exactly has changed. I feel more at peace, more calm, and definitely more happy. I've also been so inspired to become a much better Muslim, to focus on Islam as much as possible, and to study it. I'm planning on starting my MA this September inshallah, in Holland, and I'm planning on doing my dissertation on something to do with women and Islam. Umrah definitely made me even more excited about this.

I also can't wait to do Hajj now, even though I'm not ready for that yet. Learning classical Arabic is another to-do. Inshallah all these things will happen soon.

Overall the past 6 days were the best 6 days of my life, and I'm really sad that it's over now. I hope I'll be back in Makkah soon.

Makkah and Umrah

My last prayer at the Prophet’s Mosque was Friday Fajr. It was really busy but I got a nice place since I went about 45 minutes before the call to prayer. Fajr is my favourite time to go to the mosque, so I like going early to pray and read Qur’an. I prayed that I would be able to do Umrah properly, and that this wouldn’t be my last prayer at the Prophet’s Mosque, inshallah.

We left Madinah at 5:30 a.m. The taxi ride took 4 hours, and so we arrived in Makkah at 9:30. At first glance Makkah is nowhere near as nice a city as Madinah. The centre with Masjid al-Haram and the Kaaba and the hotels is beautiful, but the outskirts are not very impressive. We arrived at our hotel and checked in. The hotel is absolutely amazing, Mashallah. It’s called Abraj Zamzam and I definitely recommend it to anyone staying in Makkah.

We went to pray Duhr In Masjid al-Haram. The mosque took my breath away. It’s unbelievably big and the architecture is simple yet beautiful. It was early so we did 4 rounds around the Kaabah. Seeing the Kaabah for the first time was amazing. It’s a bit smaller than I had imagined but much more striking. The cloth over it is midnight black and the gold embroidery is very elegant. I think the moment every Muslim sees the Kaabah is something they never forget.

We went back into the mosque and we had to go to the second floor because it was absolutely packed. The men’s section was basically full but my dad found a spot, and the women’s section still had a lot of space. The mosque has space for 4 million people! I think there were about 40,000-50,000 there for Duhr, because it took about 30-45 minutes for people to leave the mosque after prayer. We were worried that it would always be that crowded, but when I went to pray Asr it was much much emptier, and I found a place right at the front.

There’s something that really made me angry and I want to let it out. The mosque is segregated, but not as segregated at Masjid al-Nabawi. There are short partitions between the men and women’s section but we all enter and walk around the same areas. Outside the mosque in front of the Kaabah of course there is no segregation. However, inside the mosque, the women’s section is basically on the side-i.e. we don’t have a view of the Kaabah at all. The men’s sections are basically the ones with the best views: in the middle, and even in front of the women’s section. Seriously, what is this? Like I said before, if Saudi feels like they need to segregate everything then fine, but make it equal! I would have loved to pray facing the Kaabah. Imagine how amazing it would be to see it right there in front of you while you pray. But I couldn’t. It’s really frustrating. Also the women's prayer area is tiny compared to the men's. I feel like this is Saudi bias seeping into the way they manage Makkah and Madinah. Mashallah they do a great job but when it comes to women it gets annoying.

Right after Isha I began Umrah. I had already said the niyyah and talbiya earlier that morning, and had prayed 2 raqaats. I can't really describe how it felt doing the tawaf. It went by in a blur of reciting prayers and praying. It wasn't too busy and I managed to walk without having to concentrate, I just followed the flow. I felt choked up the whole way; like I was about to start crying. There are no specific prayers for tawaf but a book I have recommended some really beautiful ones. Mashallah it was an amazing experience. On the 7th round I didn't want to stop. I managed to touch the Kaabah once. I just held on to it for a few seconds and said a prayer. I think it's hard to describe how I felt; it's something you'd have to go through. It definitely surpassed all my expectations.

After tawaf I prayed 2 raqaats, had zamzam water, and then began sa'i. I honestly didn't think it would be hard because I'm a gym rat and I thought walking 3 km wouldn't be too bad, but it was! I think because it was at night and I haven't slept much since we got to Saudi. It took about 20 minutes and was really fulfilling.

After this, a woman cut some strands of my hair, and then I prayed 2 more raqaats, and then I was done! It was absolutely amazing, mashallah. Indescribable.

Of course there were really annoying things that happened. A guy was actually on his phone during tawaf, while another guy was closing a business deal during sa'i. A lot of men were walking around half naked because they weren't wearing their ihram properly, and of course there was pushing and shoving. But finishing Umrah was an amazing feeling, and I hope it won't be my last.

Thanks to all of you that have been posting on my blog ☺ I prayed for during Umrah and I really appreciate your support.

Photos of Makkah

Our hotel

Masjid al-Haram

Safa and Marwa

Safa and Marwa

Masjid al-Haram

Our hotel

Masjid al-Haram

Masjid al-Haram

Masjid al-Haram

Masjid al-Haram

Masjid al-Haram

i just finished umrah

It's 11:11 pm and I just finished Umrah! I'm too tired to describe it all now, but I will definitely post tomorrow.

photos of madinah!

The Prophet's Mosque

Our hotel

Prophet's Mosque

Prophet's Mosque

Prophet's Mosque

Masjid al-Qiblatayn

Masjid al-Qiblatayn

Prophet's Mosque

Prophet's Mosque

Prophet's Mosque

Prophet's Mosque

Inside the Prophet's Mosque

Inside the Prophet's Mosque (my dad took these photos, since cameras aren't allowed in the women's section)

more of madinah

I just tried posting photos but the connection at the hotel is pretty slow so it didn’t work. I’ll try posting them at the hotel in Mecca, otherwise I’ll do it as soon as I’m back in Cairo.
Last evening I decided to do Rawda after the Isha prayer. I’m not sure why exactly, but it is only open to women three times a day for a short period of time: 7:00 am, 1:30 pm, and 9:30 pm. Now since there are literally thousands of women who want to see the Prophet’s tomb, this seems ridiculous. I’m not sure why it is organized like this, or why the men seem to have easier/longer access to it. My dad just went into the mosque around 2 pm and came out 10 minutes later having seen it. If you want to segregate the sexes, fine, but at least allow equal time for each. I ended up waiting from 9:00 till 10:45 before I could get anywhere near the tomb. What they do is separate the women into groups according to nationality. Egypt/Arab was the last group to go in, which is why I ended up waiting for 1.45 hours. By that time everyone was tired, angry, and frustrated, so the minute our groups was allowed to enter, people began pushing and shoving and yelling. I couldn’t get near the tomb because of the hysteria and commotion, so I prayed 2 raqaats near by and left. I really wish I’d had the chance to get close and pray right there, or at least not get pushed constantly. Like I said before, I’m not sure why it is organized like this, or why it was easier for my dad to see the tomb. I would love to find out.
It was a really emotional moment for me when it hit me that the Prophet (pbuh) was right there, and that he had prayed in that mosque, and that this was his beloved city. I think a lot of people felt close to the Prophet (pbuh) at that moment, and many were crying. I cried too, just because it really is such an amazing and overwhelming experience. We think and talk about the Prophet (pbuh) so much, so being this close to all these places is indescribable. Mashallah.
We woke up at 3 again to pray Fajr, which is such an amazing experience at Masjid al-Nabawi. I then went back to the hotel and slept a bit, before going to see the Uhud mountain, the site of the famous battle. We then went to Masjid al-Qiblatayn (Mosque with the 2 minarets) which is a really nice mosque and a beautiful green area of Madinah. Mashallah Madinah is an amazing city. I’m seriously considering moving here at some point. Imagine being able to pray at Masjid al-Nabawi anytime you wanted!
I can’t wait for tomorrow, when we leave to Mecca. I keep imagining the feeling of first seeing the Kaaba. It must be amazing. Inshallah we’ll be able to pray salaat al-Jumaah in Masjid al Haram.

madinah

I'm in love. With Madinah and the Prophet's Mosque to be specific. This city is absolutely amazing. It seems like the perfect Arab city, mostly because it's nothing like Cairo. It's quiet, calm, organized, the taxis are nice, the people are friendly, and everyone's really helpful. We got here at around 8:30 Tuesday night, and checked into our hotel before walking around a bit. We saw the Prophet's Mosque from far and it looked absolutely breathtaking. You can imagine how speechless I was when I saw it up close and then when I went inside. Seriously, it is an architectural masterpiece. The size, the detail, the magnificence, and the scale all make it absolutely beautiful. When I went in I just never wanted to leave.

We woke up the next morning at 3 am Fajr which was at 4:15. I was surprised to hear the adaan go off at 3:15, since in Cairo it goes off 15 minutes before prayer time. I looked out my window and saw groups of people already making their way to the mosque, so we quickly dressed and walked the short distance. There were literally thousands of people there, of all nationalities. It really is something I'm never going to forget. So many clothing styles, languages, countries. It reminded me of the verse in the Qur'an: "we created you in tribes and nations so that you may know each other".

After Fajr we walked around some more, took photos, and had breakfast. It's hard for me to go to sleep after I've woken up so I don't think I'll be sleeping much for the next 5 days. I feel exhausted but the excitement keeps me going.

I just prayed Duhr and am about to go see the Prophet's grave. There are separate hours for men and women, and the women's hours just started. Inshallah I will get to see the mosque with 2 qiblas soon.

I met two really nice people yesterday. One was a woman in the lounge at Cairo airport, who asked me if I was doing Umrah after she saw me reading a guide on Hajj and Umrah. I said yes and she spent about 20 minutes giving me advice on what to do and what not to do. I was wearing my veil kind of loosely so she said I shouldn’t do that in Mecca because they’re really strict there, and that once her 9-year-old daughter got hit with a stick because her veil slipped(!). She also explained how to sneak a phone into the Prophet’s Mosque (by hiding it in your sock) since you’re not allowed to take phones with cameras into the mosque. She was really sweet.

The second person I met in the elevator at the hotel. She asked me where I was from and I said Egypt, to which she replied that she was from South Africa. This got me all excited and I told her I’d grown up in Zambia, which got her all excited. It really made me miss home. She gave me her room number and told me to visit her. She was so nice, and she seemed so excited to be doing Umrah.

On a concluding note, I hadn't realized how far globalization had gone till I found a Starbucks outside the Prophet's Mosque! Good for me though, since I'm a bit of an addict.

Photos soon!

today's the day!

In exactly 8 hours my flight leaves to Madinah! I can't wait. I've been feeling really excited but today for some reason I'm calm. I'm worrying about all the things that Umrah entails and hoping I don't forget anything. If it's already complicated I can't imagine what Hajj will be like. On top of that you'll have millions of people.
I'm really excited about seeing so many people from so many different countries. It should be a nice experience. I keep remembering Malcolm X's quote when he went to Mecca, about how he had never thought he would see equality between people, but he saw it there. Of course I'm sure everyone there won't be perfectly well-behaved or courteous but still, the atmosphere should be unforgettable.
I'll be taking my laptop with me so I'll update as much as I can, especially with pics :).

umrah

So this Tuesday I'll be going to Saudi Arabia for Umrah! I'm really excited about it but also kind of nervous. I've been planning it for a while and I got the visa last week and now we've booked the trip.

Being the obsessive compulsive person that I am, I feel like I need to know every single thing now. But obviously that isn't possible. I guess a lot of things you just figure out when you get there.

I wonder how I'll feel afterwards. I remember when the idea came to me a few months ago and I got really excited at the thought of seeing the Kaaba. Everytime I think of how it'll feel to actually see it I get really hyped up. I hope it's as amazing as I think it will be. Inshallah everything will go well!