tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post8491057777414761230..comments2023-10-18T15:59:45.874+03:00Comments on Cairo, Lusaka, Amsterdam: Wife-Starving Lawcairo, lusaka, amsterdamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04955671720625835663noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-74497978098701016192009-08-23T12:20:20.868+02:002009-08-23T12:20:20.868+02:00"Marriage in Islam can and is a beautiful thi..."Marriage in Islam can and is a beautiful thing if both parties recognize the rights and contributions of the other." Amen!<br />I think this goes for so many aspects of Islam, whose beauty gets tainted by cultural and backwards practices of Muslims.cairo, lusaka, amsterdamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04955671720625835663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-33273454557829550042009-08-21T05:05:49.014+02:002009-08-21T05:05:49.014+02:00Well I have read that lack of sexual gratification...Well I have read that lack of sexual gratification is grounds for divorce Islamically but I don't have the source and certainly most women in Islamic countries would dare initiate a khul on these grounds. <br />Either way don't let the abhorrent behavior of some men lead us into a gender war. Marriage in Islam can and is a beautiful thing if both parties recognize the rights and contributions of the other.<br />Also, men and women certainly don't have the same rights and responsibilities. For example when I get my week off from fasting, while I'm sitting at home eating lunch and drinking afternoon cofee, my husband will be fasting and he will be doing it while out working his very long workday so he can support his family, which is his obligation, not mine.Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07632541487016020760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-69444643883162198112009-08-20T22:20:35.638+03:002009-08-20T22:20:35.638+03:00Aynur - yes, I've heard about the thing where ...Aynur - yes, I've heard about the thing where a woman can't refuse her husband sex unless she has a legitimate excuse. It kind of bothers me, because what constitutes a legitimate excuse? And why isn't the same applied to men?cairo, lusaka, amsterdamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04955671720625835663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-23199182654376294002009-08-20T22:18:39.610+03:002009-08-20T22:18:39.610+03:00Ellen - so true about the hadith, we need to put m...Ellen - so true about the hadith, we need to put more effort into trying to find out which ones are authentic and which aren't. I find it weird that the Prophet fought for women's rights, and yet there are so many hadith that take rights away from women. Hmmmm.cairo, lusaka, amsterdamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04955671720625835663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-36873902231645558292009-08-20T22:17:40.193+03:002009-08-20T22:17:40.193+03:00Faith in Writing - yes, polygamy might be one reas...Faith in Writing - yes, polygamy might be one reason. I wonder how many men in Afghanistan are polygamous?<br /><br />"I think there's a big difference between being a Muslim and understanding Islam." Very true!!!cairo, lusaka, amsterdamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04955671720625835663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-20684455726486645852009-08-20T22:16:44.547+03:002009-08-20T22:16:44.547+03:00Sara - I agree. The problem is men like these thin...Sara - I agree. The problem is men like these think that these things are in the sunnah/Qur'an/hadith.cairo, lusaka, amsterdamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04955671720625835663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-5687489811836415122009-08-20T22:16:08.408+03:002009-08-20T22:16:08.408+03:00Stacy - exactly, if a mum thinks this is okay, or ...Stacy - exactly, if a mum thinks this is okay, or she surrounds herself with men who think its okay, then her sons will probably feel the same.cairo, lusaka, amsterdamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04955671720625835663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-20122174694731198232009-08-20T22:15:27.943+03:002009-08-20T22:15:27.943+03:00Sarah Elizabeth - great comment! You put into word...Sarah Elizabeth - great comment! You put into words exactly how I feel. Female subordination is one of the only universal things we have, which is really sad.<br /><br />"This is another power and control ploy men are using against women, and there is no way this is found in the Quran, just no way.." AMEN!cairo, lusaka, amsterdamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04955671720625835663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-88106610108186441192009-08-20T22:14:06.406+03:002009-08-20T22:14:06.406+03:00Stephanie - I totally agree, these men should real...Stephanie - I totally agree, these men should really feel bad :S Unfortunately they probably think what they're doing is 100% right.cairo, lusaka, amsterdamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04955671720625835663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-62291290008598025722009-08-20T19:13:27.599+03:002009-08-20T19:13:27.599+03:00Stephanie - true, according to what I've read,...Stephanie - true, according to what I've read, wives should have sex with their husbands unless they have a legitimate excuse. <br />Some hadiths could be twisted, to say since the women is supposed to not reject her husband's advances, that means the husband has the right to her regardless of what she wants.<br />If the wife does not go to bed with him it falls under the category of Nushooz. <br /><br />«لو كنت آمراً أحداً أن يسجد لأحد لأمرت المرأة أن تسجد لزوجها»<br /><br />“If I were to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered a woman to prostrate herself before her husband”. [At-Tirmidhi]Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-67865549748751633882009-08-20T03:45:17.525+03:002009-08-20T03:45:17.525+03:00I don't even see how this can be contributed t...I don't even see how this can be contributed to the ahadith. there is a hadith which does say a women shouldn't deny her husband sex, but that in itself implies consent and not the okay to rape. There is also a hadith about foreplay and numerous ones about the kind treatment of the wife. Where's the punishment if a man doesn't comply with them. this is just chauvinism in it's nastiest form and another way to give a man ultimate power over the women of the society.Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07632541487016020760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-16619239261512994052009-08-19T19:04:46.329+03:002009-08-19T19:04:46.329+03:00That's crazy. :(
Well like what ellen said, ...That's crazy. :(<br /><br />Well like what ellen said, it's about the hadiths ... and I don't think that everyone has the resources to check if certain hadiths are authentic. And then also some people believe every single hadith to be unquestionable and that it's a sin to question them. So it depends on how you look at things...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-65960638237394511322009-08-19T16:11:04.366+03:002009-08-19T16:11:04.366+03:00That's just... utter crap really. It's not...That's just... utter crap really. It's not even about the Qur'an. It's about hadiths that people don't bother to check if they are authentic or not. And I don't see how it can only be targeted at Shia women either... A Shia marriage contract asks both the husband and the wife to be open to sex during the marriage but consent always has to be given! I just don't get it. Sometimes I think Hamid Karzai is alright and other times, like now, I just think he is a nutter. He is giving too much to the misogynist men who have the real power in Afghanistan.ellen557https://www.blogger.com/profile/15241966768415648407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-28341254868318842142009-08-19T00:43:06.346+03:002009-08-19T00:43:06.346+03:00This is ridiculous! And I must say I think there&#...This is ridiculous! And I must say I think there's a big difference between being a Muslim and understanding Islam. Some people are Muslim by birth but they can't or haven't read the Qur'an. I knew a girl in another online group who said one day she was trying to learn how to pray but her Turkish husband couldn't teach her because HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND ARABIC.... um, so how was he praying then????? They had an Islamic marriage and everything, and she was American and new to Islam. What was the point???<br /><br />Anyway, I can only suggest that it may be sex every 4 days because they assume the men will have 4 wives, so on a rotation he gets sex every day that way. Just a guess.<br />I saw a documentary about a woman (Aussie or American journalist) who travelled through Afghanistan to get a story on doctors there (or more like, people acting as doctors and treating the women through holes in a piece of fabric/wall so they wouldn't have to look at them) or something and she had to go around as one of some guy's wives, so she wouldn't stand out and get in trouble. It was just assumed in some parts that a man would have 4 wives, because that was his allowance. I don't think all rules were followed to gain the extra wives.<br />..........Afghanistan is a bit of a mess, I think. Islamically and in every other way. It might be an Islamic country but it's gone way off the deep end in terms of bad ideas.Strawberrylifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07327298472103196148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-58889323014699823172009-08-19T00:05:13.374+03:002009-08-19T00:05:13.374+03:00I woke up this morning and seen a picture by Islam...I woke up this morning and seen a picture by Islam-haters and it really got me upset because it causes confusion and doubt for me. Which is such a huge battle for me. Its so hard reading stuff like this because even though I am born muslim I still have to deal with negative feedback and hearing things like this does not make me feel happy at all. Id rather keep away from all the propaganda and just stick to the prophet Muhamad PBUH and his sunnah.Muslimah for Jannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08195696882589283492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-6656824986140630872009-08-18T23:50:34.392+03:002009-08-18T23:50:34.392+03:00@Sarah Elizabeth, I couldn't have said it bett...@Sarah Elizabeth, I couldn't have said it better myself. How is a woman supposed to love or respect the men in her life who think this is ok. Then her own sons will be trained to perpetuate the horror.Stacy K. https://www.blogger.com/profile/06853574441003653244noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-5930936627169018102009-08-18T23:20:41.373+03:002009-08-18T23:20:41.373+03:00Yes, I was following this story a couple months ba...Yes, I was following this story a couple months back when it first broke the airwaves. <br /><br />This is another power and control ploy men are using against women, and there is no way this is found in the Quran, just no way.. <br /><br />I found it interesting that it only pertains to Shi'ite Muslims and not all Muslims.. What is the reasoning, I wonder.. Is there something that happened in history that they are emulating?<br /><br />I don't know.. <br /><br />I cannot imagine what it would feel like to live and sleep with a man who follows these rules.. The relationship between men and women is unique in that only women are so intimate with their enemies... <br /><br />If a Black person is hated by Whites, or treated badly, they do all they can to stay away from Whites..<br /><br />Not so true for women, eh? Instead we are conditioned to be submissive and taught that we need men, in order to make our oppression more bearable, no? <br />This is not a Muslim issue, it is a patriarchy issue. <br /><br />Maybe if Westerners would stop seeing it as an "Islamic" issue, people could stop being so defensive and start looking at themselves a little more clearly. <br /><br />One thing women across the entire world have in common, although varying in extremes of course, is that we are workhorses, and maids, and servants.<br /><br />It does not matter how progressive a society, this is still something seen as a natural role. I think spoiled little girls find a rude awakening when they marry and find out all too soon that they must cook, clean, and fuck, for the pleasure of their man. Men do not work half as hard as women. Yet they say we are treated princesses, protected, and spoiled rotten, in the same breath as they sit back and watch us break our backs doing menial labor.<br /><br />Tragic.<br /><br />Yes, these are all of the feelings that come bursting out of me when I hear stories like this. I cannot help but think of the strong ass women who are living this, not just reading it in the paper.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7573368687554384299.post-34410976437627734092009-08-18T22:30:52.889+03:002009-08-18T22:30:52.889+03:00I heard about this new law this morning. This is j...I heard about this new law this morning. This is just utterly ridiculous. These men should be absolutely ashamed of their disgusting misuse of the rule of law. I have so much to say but for now I'm utterly speechless.Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07632541487016020760noreply@blogger.com